Find Me
by MYBIGBLUEBOX
Summary: A song fic. Rose thinks about how she almost lost the Doctor. "She lept up, facing him with blood shot eyes. 'Rose...please don't cry sweetheart'. He spoke quietly, softly stroking her hair. His hearts lurched when she turned her head away from him."


Find Me

Title: Find Me

Author: MYBIGBLUEBEOX

Series: Doctor Who

Rating: k+

Genre: angst/romantic

Spoilers: none

Characters: Doctor (Tenth) and Rose

Disclaimer: God knows how many times you've all read these disclaimers but I'm going to say it all again just coz. I don't own these characters or the story line this fanfic is based on. They belong to our lord and master 'The BBC' ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Summary: Rose is afraid for the Doctor after he goes looking for trouble. The Doctor knows theres something wrong, they just got to work it out! Song fic.

Dedications: Everyone who's read anything I've done over the years and gave their constructive criticism.

Warnings: none

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_Catch me as I fall_

_Say you're here and it's all over now_

_Speaking to the atmosphere_

_No one's here and I fall into myself_

_This truth drives me into madness_

_I know I can stop the pain if I will it all away_

_If I will it all away_

It had been so earth shatteringly real. Like reliving the same moment in history. She lay on her bed staring at the ceiling, going over the memories of the past few hours. Just like on that space station... where she'd killed Toby. She'd lost him again, only to have him returned. She'd felt the stabbing pain of loss again. It hurt more this time, this time he'd left her alone while he perused death. Kissed her on the cheek and left her. She closed her eyes against the thoughts flying around her mind.

_Don't turn away _

_Don't give in to pain_

_Don't try to hide _

_Though they're screaming your name_

_Don't close your eyes _

_God knows what lies behind them_

_Don't turn out the light_

_Never sleep never die_

How was she supposed to trust him again? Every time he disappeared, which unfortunately happened far too often for her liking, she would always remember. Every time she'd see him in her minds eye. See him dying. He turned away from her so often these days. Didn't he know how much it hurt? How was she going to ever forget this? She'd nearly lost him.

_I'm frightened by what I see_

_But somehow I know that there's much more to come_

_Immobilized by my fear_

_And soon to be blinded by tears_

_I can stop the pain if I will it all away_

_I f I will it all away_

She was frightened. Scared to death for him. If he died...all that was left of her would die along with him. Then she would be alone, probably some alien planet, without her doctor. She curled into a ball on her side, wrapping her arms tightly around herself. Trying desperately to stop the hurt herself. Trying to pick herself up like she always did.

_Don't turn away_

_Don't give in to the pain_

_Don't try to hide _

_Though they're screaming your name_

_Don't close your eyes _

_God knows what lies behind them_

_Don't turn out the light _

_Never sleep never die_

He knew she was hurting. When he'd come back to her, she'd hardly spoken to him, just looked at him with those beseeching eyes. He was loosing her, he couldn't loose her, not Rose. He gripped a leaver on the control panel, trying to take out his emotions on it. When he heard the crying came fluttering gently down the corridor, he couldn't stand it any longer. He spun on his heel and made for Rose's room.

_Fallen angels at my feet_

_Whispered voices at my ear_

_Death before my eyes _

_Lying next to me I fear_

_She beckons me shall I give in_

_Upon my end shall I begin_

_Forsaking all I've fallen I rise to meet the end_

He opened her door quietly, and peeked his head around the frame. What he saw tore a new hole in her hearts. She lay crumpled in a heap on her bed. Her head rammed into the pillows to muffle her sobs. He padded quietly over to her bed, and stood over her for a second before reaching out to touch her head. She lept up, facing him with blood shot eyes.

'Rose...please don't cry sweetheart'. He spoke quietly, softly stroking her hair. His hearts lurched when she turned her head away from him.

_Don't turn away_

_Don't give in to pain_

_Don't try to hide _

_Though they're screaming your name_

_Don't close your eyes _

_God knows what lies behind them_

_Don't turn out the light_

_Never sleep never die_

'Rose don't turn away from me...please'. He grabbed her hand 'I'm so sorry Rose, I am, You've got to believe me'.

She turned her head turned towards him. He saw how hurt she was. At that moment he would have done anything to change what he had done to her.

'Why'd you do it Doctor? Why'd you do it to me?'

'I...' he didn't know what to say. Why did he do it? 'I, I don't know. I didn't think. Please, PLEASE forgive me'. She looked at him doubtfully. Lowering her eyes to their joined hands.

He had to do something, he was loosing her. He took her chin in his free hand and turned her head up until their noses touched. They paused for a minute, both feeling the breath of the other on their faces. He moved first, tilting his head to kiss her deeply. It was short but very very sweet. When they pulled apart he drew her close whispering:

'Forgive me.' She leaned into him. Kissing his neck and snuggling into his chest.

'Anytime.'

_Don't turn away_

_Don't try to hide _

_Don't close your eyes_

_Don't turn out the light _

_Don't turn away _

_Don't try to hide_

_Don't close your eyes _

_Don't turn out the light._

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Hey I know this is defiantly not my best. Sorry! Please review!


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